Today I am feeling so annoyed with myself! I jumped on the scales thinking that there must be some weight loss going on. I’ve managed to get myself to the gym at least three times a week for the past month, averaging about 600 calories a session. Also, I’ve been adding a bit more strength training to my workouts, so surely I must have lost a pound or two? Who was I kidding?
Let me take you back to the battle I have with my weight. I was never the chubby kid who had a problem with food, quite the opposite actually. I would eat what I want, not even bother working out, and just rely on the fact that my metabolism was always there for me. Then I hit secondary school. And all of a sudden everyone around me was eating fruit and veg, and watching what they ate. Naive me, ignored all the signs and continued with the diet I had been following for pretty much all my life. Sugar, sugar and more sugar.
It was only really when I got my first proper full time job as an accountant that I really started taking notice of what I was eating. At the same time I was being called the fat one in comparison to my two other sisters. Being in a family with two other sisters is difficult as you are always compared to one another!
So this is exactly where my weird relationship with food and my weight began. Almost five years ago. I signed myself up to the gym, for the first time in my life! I was 21 years old and had never set foot in a gym before. Everyone I knew found that so weird. They had been gym bunny’s for years gone, and here was me, just starting out.
When I say my first time in the gym was difficult, it truly was difficult! I didn’t bother with having an induction or anything like that, I was seriously so shy back then! Being called the fat one in the family also did not help with my confidence. I guess people were just saying it for my own good, because honestly, I could finally see what they were saying. I was starting to put on weight, and looking less like myself.
My boyfriend, at the time, who is now my fiance, actually helped with my confidence at the gym. Just talking me through how to use different machines, and I started going alot regularly. 5 years on, I still go to the gym, though my confidence levels have increased alot!
I guess that kind of brings me to where I am now. In a complete and utter rut. Having weighed myself this morning, and noticing that the weight I had taken so long to work off was slowly creeping back on, was enough to help get me motivated to go to the gym this morning. And I’m honestly going to try much harder to get myself there at least 5 times a week. My schedule has changed so much now that although it is a struggle to fit in a workout, the excuses I’m making when I do have some free time totally do not justify me not going. So lets hear it for a healthier, more motivated me!
Good things come to those who sweat <3
